This is so sad but very true. The problem we have is the destruction of the family and it starts with throwing away of the elderly. I'm sorry, her daughter doesn't really love her either. Love is sacrifice. Love is thinking about others before yourself. She should have gone to get her mom in the morning so she didn't even have to drive or, better yet, the night before, do she could wake up on Christmas with the family. It's about understanding the loneliness that comes as we age.

Caring for my mom has been very difficult. The stress is incredible and never having a moment free of the responsibility is daunting. The home hospice CNA told me I could have mom taken to hospice facility for a 5 day respite for me. But I know that would break my mothers heart! I just can't do it because she would be devastated. So I sacrifice my wellbeing for hers. After all, didn't our mothers do that for us? It warms my soul knowing that I am bringing her comfort and ease in these last days of life. God promises to give me the strength and courage to continue to do that which is what is right to do, to do what He's asked me to do, to do what's best for her. Our country has a severe lack of understanding and willingness for self sacrifice.

This was a story my friend posyed on FB and I thought itvwas a great reminder forcus all as we head into the Christmas season.

"My heart didn’t break when the doctors told me my husband, Frank, was gone. It didn’t break when I had to sell the house we lived in for forty years because the stairs were getting too steep.

No. My heart broke on a Tuesday afternoon, staring at a blue text bubble on an iPhone screen.

My name is Margaret. I am 76 years old, living in a quiet condo in the suburbs of Chicago, and I want to tell you about the Christmas that almost broke me. Not because of a tragedy, but because of a sentence that haunts thousands of seniors across America right now.

“You can swing by later for dessert, if you want.”

It wasn't said with malice. There was no screaming. Just a text message from my daughter, Jessica. A busy, modern mom. A woman juggling a corporate job, two teenagers, and a mortgage.

But those words hit me harder than the winter wind off the lake.

For thirty years, Christmas at our house was a beautiful disaster. It was the Super Bowl of domestic life. Wrapping paper knee-deep in the living room. Frank trying to carve a turkey that was always slightly dry. Kids screaming. The smell of cinnamon and slight panic.

I was the conductor of that orchestra. I was the center of the gravity.

But time is a thief. It steals your noise, then it steals your purpose.

Frank passed. The kids moved to different states. The grandkids grew into teenagers who communicate mostly in emojis. And suddenly, my house was spotless.

Quiet.

Dead quiet.

This past year, I waited for the plan. You know the feeling? Checking your phone every hour, hoping for the invite. Not just an invite, but a need. I wanted to be needed.

Finally, I texted Jessica: “What time should I come over on the 25th? Do you need me to bring the sweet potato casserole?”

Three dots bubbled on the screen. Then, the reply:

“Hey Mom! We’re actually going to keep the morning really low-key. Just us and the kids in pajamas, opening gifts. We’re exhausted. But you can swing by later for dessert if you want! Maybe around 4? No pressure!”

I sat in my kitchen, the silence ringing in my ears.

Low-key. Just us. If you want.

In modern America, we have become obsessed with the "Nuclear Family." The mom, the dad, the kids. Everyone else—even the people who raised you—becomes an accessory. An add-on.

I felt like an afterthought. I felt like a guest.

I typed back: “That sounds perfect! See you at 4.”

Because that’s what mothers do. We don’t want to be burdens. We don’t want to be the "needy" in-law. We swallow the lump in our throat and we use an exclamation point to hide the hurt.

Christmas morning came. I woke up at 6:00 AM out of habit. My body remembered the rush of putting the casserole in the oven. My hands remembered the weight of a stocking.

But there was nothing to do.

I made a single cup of coffee. I turned on the TV to watch the Parade in New York. I saw the crowds, the families, the people holding signs saying "Hi Mom!"

I sat in my pristine living room, surrounded by tasteful decorations that no one would see, and I wept.

I didn't cry because I was alone. I cried because I was optional.

Around noon, I couldn't take the silence. I put on my coat and drove. I drove past the houses in my neighborhood. I saw driveways packed with cars. I saw silhouettes in windows—grandmas holding babies, dads wrestling with dogs.

I realized something terrifying about aging in this country: We trade community for independence, and we end up with isolation.

I parked at a gas station just to hear a human voice. The cashier, a young man with piercings and a tired smile, said, "Merry Christmas."

I almost hugged him. "Merry Christmas," I said. "I'm going to see my grandkids later."

I needed to say it out loud to make it real.

When 4:00 PM finally arrived, I knocked on Jessica’s door.

It opened to a blast of heat and noise. The smell of roasting meat. The sound of football on the big screen.

"Grandma!" The kids looked up from their iPads for a brief second before diving back into their digital worlds.

Jessica hugged me, smelling like wine and expensive perfume. "Mom! You made it! Grab a plate, there are leftovers on the counter."

I smiled. I ate the cold turkey. I watched them laugh at inside jokes I wasn't part of.

I was there. But I wasn't there.

I was a spectator in the life I helped create.

On the drive home that night, on the icy roads, the truth settled in my bones. It’s a hard truth, one that might make you uncomfortable, but I need to say it.

Being loved is not the same as being included.

My daughter loves me. I know she does. She would manage my healthcare if I got sick. She would fight for me. But she forgot that I am a person who needs to belong, not just a problem to be managed or a box to be checked on a holiday schedule.

The Lesson for the Modern Family:

If you are a grown child reading this, please listen.

Your parents know you are busy. We know the economy is hard. We know you are tired from working fifty-hour weeks. We know you just want to relax in your pajamas.

But we are fading.

Our world is shrinking every single day. We lose friends. We lose mobility. We lose relevance.

The only thing that makes us feel tethered to this earth is you.

When you say, "Come over later," you are saying, "You are a part of my day, but not the priority."

We don't want your fancy gifts. We don't need a perfectly hosted dinner.

We want to see the messy hair in the morning. We want to help pick up the wrapping paper. We want to be part of the chaos, not a visitor to the clean-up.

So, please.

This year, don't just "fit us in." Don't schedule us between the nap time and the Netflix binge.

Call us first. Invite us early. Make space for us at the table before the food gets cold.

Because one day, the phone won't ring. The house will be empty. And you will realize that the greatest gift wasn't under the tree.

It was the person sitting quietly on the couch, just happy to be witnessing your life. Don't wait until we are a memory to treat us like a priority."

This is my mom. She's 90 years old. My cousin just retired and made it a priority to come and visit her. It was a blessing for us all.